i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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