I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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