I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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