This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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