He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
