Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
