imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
