HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
