Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
