OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
