you guys were way drunker than both of me
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
