Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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