im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
