Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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