What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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