If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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