They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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