Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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