I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
