this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
