Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
