Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He passed out mid-signature
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
