I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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