(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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