Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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