why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
He kissed a someone with a penis
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
