So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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