im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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