i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
