Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
