Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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