I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
