New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
