that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
