Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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