In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She needs sedatives and a leash
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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