I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
