I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
