Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
In America we eat man semen.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
