Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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