Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
