its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
