You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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