who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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