sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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