Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Randomize
