I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
