your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
