I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
