And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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